THE THREE REALMS
The Tenets of an Integrated Man.
Less Confusion - More Clarity.
It's a confusing time to be a man...
From shifting ideas as to what exactly it means to be one, to how the fuck do you even do it, there is one tried and tested method for entering the arena of an integrated man.
Connect with other men!
If you want to BE a more courageous, loving and successful man you need to start connecting with them!
In times gone by we had tribes of elders to guide us from being boys attached to their mothers to the men that would create safety and support for them.
From broken homes to social commentary on how you SHOULD be, it's confusing to know exactly where to turn.
This is only made worse when you don't have a firm understanding of WHO YOU ARE and WHERE YOU ARE HEADED.
Everything needs a foundation to build upon and as a man you must constantly be sharpening and refining yourself in these three areas:
RELATIONSHIP
Becoming a CREATOR of the relationship that you want and not just a participant.
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Creating, enforcing and respecting boundaries.
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Taking FULL responsibility for how YOU feel, think and behave.
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Becoming attractive simply by being yourself.
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Freely expressing your sexuality and sensuality in long-term relationships.
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Navigating the masculine/feminine dance and creating POSITIVE sexual tension and polarity.
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Becoming genuinely empathetic.
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Handling the hard stuff and not avoiding the difficult conversations.
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Passing and being grateful for a woman's test.
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Dealing with the urge to "fix" her or her problems.
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Becoming and staying "present" even when you want to run or fight.
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Understanding vulnerability as an attraction VS vulnerability as a manipulation.
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Shame and all the other shit you're hiding!
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Attractions of inspiration VS attractions of deprivation.
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Attachment styles - using your weaknesses as strengths and giving each other what you both need in the moment.
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Detaching from HER emotions while staying present and helping her through them.
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Unlearning your "Nice Guy" traits and recognizing when you're operating from them.
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Taking rejection in your stride.
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Knowing when to call it quits
MASCULINITY - PURPOSE & MISSION
Maintaining your masculine "frame"
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Defining and owning YOUR unique masculine frame and mindset.
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Creating your non-negotiable values.
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Defining your boundaries for everyone you interact with.
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Growing self-respect and massive self-confidence and knowing where they come from.
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Creating and maintaining confidence in your decision making and communication of your desires and goals.
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Getting comfortable being uncomfortable.
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Understanding and developing the 4 archetypes of masculinity:
- King
- Warrior
- Lover
- Magician
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Creating a masculine container for her feminine energy.
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Finding your joy and cultivating "flow state".
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Actively seeking out what energizes you whilst limiting what drains you.
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Connecting with other great men.
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Expressing your anger/disappointment in a healthy way.
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Making peace with and embracing your death.
LIFE AND DEATH
"Do not pray for an easy life,
pray for the strength to endure a difficult one."
Bruce Lee
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Knowing how to make even the most difficult decisions in your life and relationship.
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Understanding how your thoughts inform your feelings and how to navigate them.
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Radical Acceptance.
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Practicing HIGH REGARD.
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Responding NOT reacting.
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Understanding your anxiety and how to conquer it.
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Remaining DETACHED from specific outcomes.
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Recognizing your Thinking mind & Observing Mind.
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Redefining how you think about goals.
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Cultivating self-reliance and self-sourcing everything you think you need from people.
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Choosing what to give-a-fuck about.
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Letting go of everything.
You are NOT your thoughts and feelings. You are merely the one having them.